Last week I wrote about my very loud and obnoxious inner critic that shouts, “YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!”
12-28-10 © AnatolyM
I can laugh about it now, but for years it plagued me. I didn’t understand it was a residual from childhood and that as an adult, I can choose to accept and continue, or reject, and stop listening. I didn’t always hear the words clearly, but I understood the message, internalized it and acted as if it was said, marching forward to achieve, achieve, achieve.
No wonder I have always had such trouble meditating, when the goal there is to just be silent in the moment. I have so much going on in my head.
06-19-09 © frentusha
I recently saw a presentation by Andrew Warner at the World Domination Summit. He is the founder of Mixergy, a website that shares interviews with entrepreneurs to educate and inspire.
He shared his current successful business, and also shared a disastrous attempt to start an online invitation business that lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. When he talked about failure, he spoke from experience.
Andrew talked about paying attention to what triggers your inner critic, and introduced two concepts:
Your counter mind is the domain of the inner critic: the place where self-doubt triggers questions about your abilities, competence, likability, intelligence—anything we consider to be important.
The best way to diffuse the counter mind is to question it: Is it true? Does it matter?Your answers to these questions can diffuse the spinning and power of the counter mind.
Instead, focus on your true mind: the part about you that’s getting traction and is doing well. What is true, useful or wanted? There’s always something positive to be viewed to drown out the inner critic of your counter mind.
Andrew shared that when his invitation business failed, his head swirled with “counter mind” thoughts—he was a failure, he can’t run a business. But when he stopped to consider if it was true, he knew it wasn’t, as he had a prior successful business. And when he considered the importance of this failure, he realized that he was capable of being successful again. According to Andrew, “No one ever got great by not sucking.”
© Armosa Studios
The presentation was a comfort to me as I previously felt that my inner critic was mine alone, and that most people didn’t deal with this kind of thing. I never talked about it. Honestly, I was too scared that what it was saying might be true and too ashamed to admit it. So instead, I fed the beast of my insecurity and gave it power.
And now that I recognize this for what it is, I am choosing to let it go.